An Introduction to the Journey
I wake up some mornings bathed in the light of the sun as it creeps over the mountaintops and shines directly through my bedroom window, forcing my eyes open only to have them shut tighter ,to both shield them from the harmful rays, and to make the attempt to reinstate myself back into where the dreams left off.
The morning mountain air is so sharp and crisp in the winter, where all things are silenced in the near-death standstill of January’s freeze, while it carries the threat of late-day thundershowers throughout the summer, especially during those built up and balmy August afternoons. I enjoy them both for the promises they hold. One forces isolation and internalization, the time to swim within one’s own thoughts, insights, and creative revelations, while the other forces one outside to find shade and cold fresh mountain waterfalls to retreat under. The time for internalization ends, and in order to feel relief one experiences all that is outside and extends the consciousness forth like the rays of that August sun.
Spending one’s late twenties on top of a mountain, working and living in a Buddhist Dharma center, is certainly not the sort of thing most people seriously picture themselves doing. Life is just beginning to rev up then, the true transformation into adulthood is so close, if not happening already. The habits of one’s reckless early twenties are looking worn and childish, like raggedy old toys that your imagination long grew out of. It’s the time for a new beginning, freed from the infantile states of the mind of younger years.
From that perspective, taking the time to really understand one’s self during this period seems entirely crucial. Without an understanding of one’s mind and one’s emotions, how can the true roots of our habits be discovered, analyzed, and transformed or discarded, if need be? How to go about such a process is, of course, different for all people. After all, we all have vastly different minds, different emotions, different childhoods, and different karma that we’re lugging around. How could one method of experience work for all these variations? Each individual’s experience needs to address the individual’s issues and key needs for development at that moment.
photo by Kim Namanny
For this writer, that meant getting away from the city, getting away from situations that continued to perpetuate confusion and the reliance on habits I was growing quite tired of. In a certain sense, this could be viewed as escapism, that very prominent Piscean and Neptunian trait that I am all too aware of. This was an escape that was needed at the time, however, in order to clear away the distractions, examine the conditioned emotional responses, and discover what was really going on underneath all those layers and masks.
Of course, at the time, I didn’t even realize that there were conditioned emotional responses, I didn’t even see or sense the mask. Even still, everything is not entirely uncovered, there are still recesses of my heart that remain closed, as there are still those infantile expressions looming during moments of disappointment and hurt. However, through the processes of meditation, astrological study, and the healing hands and words of an understanding karmic love, the layers shed away, and the essence of what makes us human, and what makes this whole universe so damn wonderful, emerges. Shadow and light become inseparable expressions of each other, each one pushing the other forward and out, until both are fully exposed and open to the world.
After spending almost three years in these mountains, it is time to venture back out into the whole of the world. This pursuit of insight and empathy continues. I shall be returning to Oregon at the end of September with my partner Kimberly. As we journey from upstate New York to Portland, these pages will document our interstate travel, and our experiences.
This is not just a cross-country move. This is a journey through the essence of this land. The area I am departing from holds a great deal of sacredness from many different traditions, which will hopefully be detailed in future entries. We will be travelling through the many other sacred lands of this country, on our way to Oregon: psychic towns, crystal caves, and the preserved grandeur of the national parks, among many other places. This is an adventure through a mystic America that lies beneath the surface, but is ready to be held and experienced by anyone who simply wishes it were so.
